The Best of Contextomy: LXIII, LXVI, LXVII, LXVIII, and LXIX

LXIII.


I can’t deal with crafty
somnambulant teddy bears
that, mysteriously,
have their own social media.

Maybe I could be
your weird
tangential uncle
instead.


LXVI.

I wouldn’t
eat that popcorn.
It has
fire breathing
spider vomit
on it.


LXVII.


If Montezuma’s Revenge
goes wrong
you can put the ashes
in your little
memorial cup.


LXVIII.
(collaboration with S.G.)


In case anyone
was wondering
tongue brownie
is a visual gag.




LXIX.


If you flip it around
you’ll just be
sucking my cooties
from the other end.

-M.
(all of the above Contextomies were written during an Ontario Reign hockey game on my birthday)

read more about The Contextomy Project here.