The Contextomy Project

In July, 2012, "The Contextomy Project" was born in an effort to capture all the highly inappropriate, yet inexplicably funny, fragments of thought and speech that somehow don't quite fit into the "big work." These fragments are both mine and, where noted, those of my close friends, family and fellow writers. The idea is to prick a guilty humor based primarily on ambiguous, if not wholly absent, context.

Which is the hifalutin explanation. 

Alternatively: "The Contextomy Project" was born out of an effort to collect all the little fragments of inappropriateness that spew fairly uninhibited from the twisted mouths and minds of those to whom I am closest -- because we think we're awesome and amuse ourselves greatly.

The exact reaction we're going for here is, "Ha ha ha ha! ... What?"

Below are my three favorite Contextomies. You can read both new and archival Contextomies here. Submissions for "Guest-textomies" are always welcome. Send your nonsense here with the subject line, "Contextomy Submission."

V.

Once the term
moral turpitude
starts to get thrown around
there's really just
no graceful way
to uncross that line.

XXI.
(collaboration with S. G.)

All I see now
is a snoring corpse.

Somebody, please
put a Breathe Right
on that thing.

LIII.
(guest-textomy written by A. M.)

You are so important
I refer to you
as me
in conversation.